Halloween is a time when many people dress up, often in scary costumes, and go door-to-door in search of treats. Much of the festivities involve haunted houses, hay-rides, scary movies, and ghost stories. People intentionally put themselves in situations where the payoff is an adrenaline rush.
Why do they do this?
One reason that makes a lot of sense is this: If you face something that scares you to death and you survive (and maybe even have fun), you overcome the fear and get beyond it. In a sense, you overcome death and realize that you are bigger than your fears. Something that would normally cause you to freeze up now makes you laugh.
Another reason to dress up is to try on a different personality or way of being in the world. If you’re normally a shy person, you can dress up as a movie star and pretend that you’re the most confident, attractive person around. You get a chance to get beyond your fears of rejection or not being enough without risk.
How can you apply this to love?
Often our fears about love seem bigger than our desire for love. They cast shadows that are larger-than-life. They may even prevent us from opening up or taking steps that would allow love in.
In the spirit of Halloween we can give ourselves the opportunity to experiment embracing our fears and facing them in a safe way. Here are a few things to try on Halloween and some for any time:
- If you have the opportunity to dress up, try an outfit that is very out-of-character for you. Don’t reveal your identity right away. Allow people to play the game of guessing who you are. If a full costume is too much, try wearing a fun mask to a party.
- If you prefer to stay at home, answer the door for Trick-or-Treaters in a mask or costume. Enjoy guessing who your visitors are supposed to be. (Maybe love will come to your door.)
- Write down a few areas where you feel stuck. Identify one or two things that feel safe enough for you to try that will move you forward. Even the tiniest baby step will help.
- The next time you feel afraid of something, in your mind’s eye, pretend it’s a friend in a costume. Ask it to show you how it is really your friend, helping you to unfold and grow.
- Write down a list of things that feel frivolous or child-like that evoke good feelings for you. It can be playing on a swing set, jumping into a pile of leaves or snow. Take one item from that list and give yourself permission to carve time out of your schedule to do just that, even if it’s only for a few minutes. You’ll be amazed at how it will change your outlook.
If you find yourself thinking of the upcoming holidays and starting to feel stressed or worried about them, give yourself a treat and sign up for my teleseminar on December 7th. Here’s the link.
Much love,
Lisa
