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Valentine’s Day used to be a difficult time of year for me. It did not matter whether I was in a relationship or not. If I was in a relationship, anything that was not flowing would get worse. If I was not in a relationship, it was a painful reminder that I was alone. I was not living in the present and enjoying what I had. I was seeing what was not in my life.

Now I look at the day and see it very differently. For many, too much pressure is placed on what happens in that one day. And if that relationship is not soulmate material, a roomful of roses and chocolates will not make up for what does not happen the rest of the year. Many happy couples see the day as a plus instead of a proof of love. They give to each other on a regular basis and are not too concerned that things play out in any specific way on the holiday.  

This is not to say that you will not exchange cards or gifts or that you should not share a romantic dinner. It’s just that it will come together without the effort, angst, and disappointment.

Love is active. Love must circulate, be shared. It is not something you get, it is what you are. When people say they want to be loved, what they are looking for is the opportunity to share the love that they are. You don't need to wait for someone to love you. Just be willing to believe that who you are and your talents have the perfect audience and be willing to broadcast who you really are to the world. If you don't know what that is, start getting to know yourself and share what you know along the way. There are friends and lovers who are receptive to what you have to offer and you are all mutually uplifted in the sharing. And, for those who desire it, there is a soulmate who will receive you as you are right now.

So today, no matter what your relationship status, recognize that you are valuable right where you are as you are. If you are not feeling the love, start with yourself. Soothe yourself. Get enough sleep. Take a few to-dos off your plate that have you rushing through your days; this will free you up to see the loving relationships you already have. Then take even the smallest step to reach out to another: write a note, call someone, share your humor, your attention, your smile, your support. You may be surprised to see how much you really matter and make a difference. And THAT is really what LOVE IS all about.

Hugs,

Lisa

Whether I think about clearing out the old or making room for the new, the first idea that comes to mind is clearing out the refrigerator. I use this analogy because keeping my refrigerator clean is easy. And what better idea to connect to personal growth than something you find easy to do?

When do we usually clean out the refrigerator?

We clear it out when we are making room for something new or when we are looking for something to eat. Other than that, most things just sit around undisturbed. We may even forget that they are there until we open the door to look.

This approach to clearing out the old works well because it is balanced. Many of us on the self growth path can have a tendency to try to fix ourselves or put too much attention on looking for blocks to dissolve. The catch with this is that the mind (our servant) will give us more of what absorbs our attention.

The secret is to understand one idea. When we are talking about food, we need to hold the door open long enough to see what needs to be tossed without spoiling everything else. The same applies to our life. We turn our attention long enough to what is calling out to us to be released so that we may let it go. We resist the temptation to over focus on what is wrong with us or our particular situation. 

We can trust that anything we need to release will make itself known to us. Why? Life wants us to express fully. It needs us to do so. And it will move anything that is blocking that expression into our awareness, so that we can release and move forward. If we do not see it the first time around, it will continue to resurface until we release. If we do not release, it will start to stink up the place until we are forced to let go, just like spoiled food.

We are already perfect as we are. Whatever we may be calling blocks, obstacles, or patterns now were helpful to us at some other time in our experience. They gave us something of value. We are simply exchanging these habits for something better. That's all. 

Even though we are replacing what we have with something better, we still may hesitate or hold on to a habit or a pattern that is not serving us. We can choose to clear out the old habit the way we would clear out old food, quickly and without shame or self-loathing.

For a time, we may only be replacing the old with empty space. We do this to make room for something new. Just as when you are going grocery shopping, you can choose to clear out room before you bring everything home or after. If you do it beforehand, you will be able to restock easily. If you wait, there may be a little tension for a time as you negotiate the space for the new. 

When it comes to love, it takes trust and faith to clear that space and hold it open until our mate shows up. Sometimes we get so hungry for that relationship that we are afraid to have this empty space stay empty for any length of time. Nature abhors a vacuum though. The space ALWAYS fills up. Have faith and choose to only fill it with your soulmate. 

If you looking for support in making more room for your soulmate and want to welcome him/her in, please sign up for my Love Attraction™ Club. The first meeting is February 1, 2012.

Blessings,

Lisa

It is now 2012. If you haven't set your intentions,especially in the area of love, I've got good news for you. It's never too late to set them. And, if one of the issues is that you're too busy to set them, it can be your intention to put more attention on creating a vision for your whole life. :-)

The amazing thing about this work is that anything that you are sincerely devoted to experiencing in your life will flow into every other area of your life. If love is your primary concern, it will bloom into abundance, meaningful friendships, creative expression, and so on.

Within the past 4 years, I've manifested 

• a new home, 
• my fiance (he helped me move), 
• promotions, 
• bonuses (even during the so-called financial crisis), and more. 

What helped me was being part of Kathryn Alice's monthly support group, the Love Club. This group was something that I felt I needed at the time to change any long-held patterns or beliefs and move forward into manifesting. It helped me put the ideas presented in Kathryn's book into practice. Having been an adult educator in a corporate setting most of my life, I knew that people need to get out of talking/reading about ideas and into practicing them if they are to learn something new. I had suggested the idea of a telephone (virtual) support group to the discussion group I was a part of at the time because Kathryn was traveling and would not be offering in-person workshops or support groups for a while.  It turned out that not only was it a good suggestion for me, but it was a great help to everyone else that joined. I know a lot of the charter members and most have already manifested their soulmate, or are exploring committed relationship now.

At the time, it was a big monthly financial commitment. In retrospect, being willing to make that commitment was what set everything in motion. It was a statement that I was worth it and that I had faith that the principles would work for me. It also served as a support to help me redirect my thinking when my focus was off and/or faith was faltering.

Kathryn has closed the Love Club to new members now. It helps her give the best level of attention to her current members. I've been thinking that the best I could do for others would be along similar lines.

Now it's my time to offer my own support group to you. It won't be as big of a monthly commitment, so most people can afford it. It's about the cost of one yoga class per month. Or, for the cost of a typical counseling session, you can subscribe for the full year. It will be a little different than the Love Club.

My focus will be on presenting a topic for discussion each month based on APPLYING what's in her book. So, I'll go deeper with you and show you HOW to apply the magnet. I will also allow time to answer your questions.

How does this expand on what is already offered here?

--It's a commitment to come together once a month and specifically apply this work. It's a proven model that groups such as AA, WeightWatchers, etc. have been using for years. Supported practice yields results.

--You will have an opportunity to interact with me in real time which is a lot more efficient than email.

--It will enhance any 1:1 coaching sessions with me by providing ongoing tune-ups at a lower cost than a coaching session.

--You will be more likely to focus on putting the ideas into action because the group will be a reminder to weigh in and see the PROGRESS. And the emphasis will be on seeing the progress even when you think you're not progressing. Most often this is where interacting with others helps.

For details and sign up, go to the link below:

Love Attraction Club

I would also suggest that you subscribe to my blog posts by filling in the form for the FREE Report if you haven't done so already.

You may also enjoy "Liking" my Facebook fan page: Lisa Caroselli, Certified Love Attraction Coach.

I'm holding you all in prayer for an off-the-charts year in 2012. It will be the end of the world as you know it. And, the beginning of a world that is bigger and better than you can even dream of.

Blessings and love,

Lisa

Usually people use this little phrase for making themselves feel miserable. It is not intentional. It is a learned habit that we picked up along the way in our growth and development. Although it is helpful from time to time to introspect and consider the choices we have made, it is not helpful if this questioning creates an environment of self-doubt and loathing.

What if is often used for questioning our judgment or choices in life.

Example: What if he/she was my soulmate? What if that was the best I could hope for?

What if is also used to question our yearnings and desires.

Example: What if I am meant to be alone? What if I do not have a soulmate? What if I am asking for too much or there is no one who could live with me?

What if this phrase were turned on its heel and used for a completely different purpose? (Did you catch that one?)

For example,

What if you have not done anything wrong or made any mistakes and that everything you have ever done or experienced has been part of your becoming who you are meant to be? Maybe the only reason you are unhappy is that you are temporarily over focused on judging your past and your present with a negative, self-deprecating lens.

What if you could see where you are heading, and you can see that you’re happy and fulfilled, would you feel differently about where you are and where you have been?

What if you started looking at all the good that you’ve accomplished?

What if you noticed that even with those accomplishments there were times of self-doubt that you have since forgotten?

What if your relationship or dating history has helped you clarify what you want and/or develop parts of yourself so that you could recognize and receive your soulmate?

What if your life, right now as it is, is on the verge of a breakthrough such that you’ll wonder why you ever doubted yourself?

What if all that you have experienced and moved through in your own self-development, growth and unfoldment has assisted you in developing empathy and skills so that you can encourage others to do the same?

What if you can use these two little words to put an end to self-questioning that pulls you down? Instead, what if you are magnificently made and you are headed in the right direction? What if you listened to your inner guidance more often, noted it, and verified its accuracy? What if you started seeing progress and improvement? 

Get it? Now get on with it and try it for a bit.

Much love,

Lisa

Note: What if you are interested in some tools that will help you stay more focused on thoughts and feelings that will bring you what you want? Check out this sale. December 13th, today, is the last day.

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• Bottom Line: Gratitude feels good and feeling good leads to noticing and receiving even more good.

• Gratitude has nothing to do with:

Indebtedness. It is, in fact, the absolute opposite of that feeling. The thoughts behind gratitude are I HAVE, I AM ENOUGH, I HAVE IT ALL, I AM COMPLETE, MY NEEDS ARE MET, I AM BLESSED, etc. The thought behind indebtedness are I owe, I need, I am not enough, etc. This misunderstanding has much to do with the inability to receive, whether the giver is universal or human in nature.

Giving up our dreams of a greater-yet-to-be. Instead, we take time to remember all that we now have, that was once a dream, as a reason to have confidence that our life is moving forward.

Denying what is hard, difficult, or lacking. Gratitude replaces a focus on lack with an appreciation of those things, people, or qualities that we may have forgotten are ever-present blessings.

We each have varying levels of understanding of what gratitude is all about. Everyone participates in it in some way or another. It takes us out of survival level thinking.

Even people who have difficulty with gratitude often back into it by watching the news (and the weather) reports. One purpose of watching the news, that is mostly unconscious, is to see how much worse off someone else is than you are. You become thankful for what you do not have in your experience.

• Gratitude:

Raises our vibration above the survival level and puts things into perspective. Noticing what we do have leads to more thoughts about what is good in our life. No matter what difficulties you are facing most of us have our basic needs met and our real survival is not at stake. This tends to soothe our nervous system which impacts our health as well.

Open us up to a receive more. An attitude of appreciation is a major attractant. There is a passage (in Matthew 13:12) about those who have will be given more and those who do not have even more will be taken.  It is telling us that gratitude gives us more to be grateful for. God (or whatever you choose to call your higher power), has given us everything. Whatever you put your attention on increases. If it’s abundance you see, you will attract more. It’s magnetic. On the other hand, lack repels abundance. Instead, it highlights and attracts more lack.

• Feeling Grateful

This is almost too simple, right? Do you have to eradicate thoughts of lack or ingratitude? Surprisingly, the answer is no. We will always have thoughts floating through our mind that could bring us down. Chasing them only seems to make them increase in number. You just need to tip the balance towards gratitude. You will know how well you’re doing by how you feel. The origin of the word gratitude, roughly translated, means that you are in a state of mind that is pleasing to you. If you are moving in that direction, you are doing a GREAT job. Little by little, or in big leaps and bounds, you will displace anything that is unpleasing until the balance is tipped in favor of EXTREME GRATITUDE! :-)

If you have spent more time feeling the lack of what you want than the fulfillment of it, this may not be easy at first. And, the holidays can intensify these feelings or make it harder to refocus. If you are interested in making the shift towards a life that you FEEL is something to be thankful for, it helps to have support and tools to do this.

• Support

I will be offering a teleseminar on December 7th which will focus on attracting soulmate love and having a terrific holiday. Regardless of where you are on your path, if you feel called to attend I hope you listen to that inner urge and sign up. It will not only be a gift to you, it will be a gift to your friends, family, and co-workers.

Here’s the link for details and sign-up:
Order Up a Love-Filled Holiday


Hugs,

• Lisa

On a personal note, I've much to be grateful for this season, above and beyond the norm. Within the past week, I became engaged to my soulmate and I finished my first marathon with him running by my side. I have a very strong feeling that many of my family, friends, and clients will be riding this wave with me into 2012. Come join us! 

If you are single right now, you may be feeling it more than ever around this time of the year.  Holidays focus on partnership, family gatherings, and holiday parties.  Even the most self-assured single can feel a little bit blue or isolated.

The best attractant for joy is to find the joy wherever you are now.

The truth is, for every single person who wishes they weren’t alone, there’s at least one other person who is wishing that they had a little bit of unscheduled time to themselves.  

Even you, once you’re matched up with your Soulmate, may long for some of the alone time that you are wishing away right now. Below are a few suggestions for making the most of where you are now.

--Be willing to feel good about the holidays.

Tell your Higher Power that you are willing to feel good. Without realizing it, we often set ourselves up by bringing our past into our now. Stating that you’re willing to have a different experience is very powerful; it creates an opportunity for happy options and opportunities to start flooding into your experience. 

--Take an honest look at what is meaningful to YOU.

Refuse to fill the time with gatherings that will drag you down just to say that you had something to do.  Instead invest a little time exploring what you may have done in the past that was pleasing to you.

Or, journal about something that you’d like to do that you’ve never been able to do before because of other commitments and obligations. Give yourself permission to explore.

Many singles opt to take a vacation during this time or go on a retreat instead of joining in the hustle and bustle of the season. You may find that your true happiness is not found in the hype of the season.

--Initiate some action towards what you want.

Pick 2 or 3 of your ideas and start exploring the possibilities. Be proactive yet relaxed. Trying to force your vision for your holiday will only generate more anxiety and frustration.

One Thanksgiving, I decided to take my son to Kripalu and participate in the Circus Yoga program. I had wanted to do it for years but had always gotten caught up in holiday obligations. Not only did we enjoy that time but it forged a bond between us that would not have happened had I opted for a traditional holiday.

--Create a wish list for flying solo.

Keep a running list of things that you would like to do that you can do solo. You may want to take art or music classes, learn to dance, rent or see a particular movie, go to a fancy restaurant, see a show, or just stay home and read a book. The trick is to have something handy for you to consider when the opportunity arises.  Often, people who follow this tip realize that it was a key step in coming together with their soulmate.  The happiness you feel in immersing yourself in an activity that is fun often brings you together with others who share the same interest; it is also a major attractant for love.

--Pretend you are with your Soulmate.

As you fall asleep every night, connect with your soulmate on the inner and tell them you love them. Then, repeat these words out loud to yourself as you imagine yourself being hugged or embraced by them.

I love you “your name.”

Shop for and buy a card, a CD, or some other gift for your soulmate.  Feel the joy of having someone to give this item to. Della Reese, a famous actress, used a similar technique. She replaced her bed and linens and acted as if her soulmate was already in her life. He did come forth and they’ve been married for almost thirty years.

--Give of yourself.

Who you are is more valuable than you know. Give your time through volunteering at a shelter or a nursing home.  Or in a less formal way, just spend time connecting with others by giving a kiss, a hug, or listening to someone who needs your presence.  No one does it exactly like you. Do what comes spontaneously and enjoy it; take note of the love that is already in your life.

--Give thanks.

Gratitude always raises our vibration and tends to make us more aware of what we have to be thankful for. Having your survival needs met to the degree that you want to experience love and have a soulmate relationship is huge. 

--Be open to the unexpected.

Look for the magic of the holiday season. It’s all around us. Without having a heavy agenda, open yourself to the idea that love could walk into your life during the holiday season. One couple I met years ago, who were happily married, met on New Year’s Eve.  That meant that they went to the party as singles, right?

If you're interested in setting up a strong intention for a truly happy and joyful holiday season, sign up for my teleseminar, Order Up a LOVE-FILLED Holiday on December 7th.

Halloween is a time when many people dress up, often in scary costumes, and go door-to-door in search of treats. Much of the festivities involve haunted houses, hay-rides, scary movies, and ghost stories. People intentionally put themselves in situations where the payoff is an adrenaline rush.

Why do they do this?

One reason that makes a lot of sense is this: If you face something that scares you to death and you survive (and maybe even have fun), you overcome the fear and get beyond it. In a sense, you overcome death and realize that you are bigger than your fears. Something that would normally cause you to freeze up now makes you laugh.

Another reason to dress up is to try on a different personality or way of being in the world. If you’re normally a shy person, you can dress up as a movie star and pretend that you’re the most confident, attractive person around. You get a chance to get beyond your fears of rejection or not being enough without risk.

How can you apply this to love?

Often our fears about love seem bigger than our desire for love. They cast shadows that are larger-than-life. They may even prevent us from opening up or taking steps that would allow love in.

In the spirit of Halloween we can give ourselves the opportunity to experiment embracing our fears and facing them in a safe way. Here are a few things to try on Halloween and some for any time:

1. If you have the opportunity to dress up, try an outfit that is very out-of-character for you. Don’t reveal your identity right away. Allow people to play the game of guessing who you are.  If a full costume is too much, try wearing a fun mask to a party. 
2.  If you prefer to stay at home, answer the door for Trick-or-Treaters in a mask or costume. Enjoy guessing who your visitors are supposed to be. (Maybe love will come to your door.)
3. Write down a few areas where you feel stuck. Identify one or two things that feel safe enough for you to try that will move you forward. Even the tiniest baby step will help.
4.  The next time you feel afraid of something, in your mind’s eye, pretend it’s a friend in a costume. Ask it to show you how it is really your friend, helping you to unfold and grow.
5. Write down a list of things that feel frivolous or child-like that evoke good feelings for you. It can be playing on a swing set, jumping into a pile of leaves or snow. Take one item from that list and give yourself permission to carve time out of your schedule to do just that, even if it’s only for a few minutes. You’ll be amazed at how it will change your outlook.

If you find yourself thinking of the upcoming holidays and starting to feel stressed or worried about them, give yourself a treat and sign up for my teleseminar on December 7^th. Here’s the link.

http://lisasloveliftoff.blogspot.com/p/events.html

Much love,

Lisa