I’d like to propose a little game to play, using Google, which will help you understand how what we attract corresponds to our thoughts AND feelings.

Note: This is just a game to illustrate a point. It is not a recommendation of any particular search results that you will see in Google.

The Laws of Attraction and Correspondence are closely related.  Simply put, like attracts like. What you attract corresponds to what you are broadcasting.

When you want to have a new experience, one of the first things you may be told to do is to start describing and affirming what you want. You may create vision boards or screensavers; you may go through exercises to simulate embodying the desire. These are all good things to do.

If there is any resistance or lack of belief in you, it will come to the surface either as negative mind chatter or an emotional reaction. This usually happens as you are setting the intention with your affirmative work. This resistance and how you respond to it will determine how much fun you have before the materialization of your desire appears.

You may notice some people will manifest what they want quickly while others seem to generate more of what they don’t want. Those who do not see results right away may start doubting themselves and wondering what they are doing wrong; sometimes they will heap self-criticism on top of self-doubt. What exactly is going on?

The people who are more fully aligned with their good generally see results more quickly. Whatever it is that they are manifesting is not as big of a leap of faith as it is for you. If you are not in this group, this is no reason to get discouraged. You are just as able and capable. You are learning something new and need more practice. Often just a small adjustment in your approach will not only cause everything to fall into place, it will also make it more enjoyable.

Here are 3 general reasons why something may not have shown up for you:

1. Timing: The answer is already on its way but has not appeared yet.
2.   Refinement: You are attracting but you cannot maintain what you have attracted. Or, you discover you want something different than what you attracted.
3.  Mixed Signals: Something in what you are broadcasting is inconsistent or unfocused. We will explore this a bit more in this article because this is a common issue and sometimes hard to pinpoint without help.

Every time we do not manifest it has something to do with timing. Timing is readiness, either yours or someone/something else’s. That readiness could mean that you are working towards being able to recognize and receive your heart’s desire or that you are clarifying that desire. If this involves another person, they may have their own timetable. 

Those who are refining often only need to celebrate that they ARE attracting and to treat the refinement process as if it were a fun game instead of something to get over and done with. There’s always more. After we achieve one thing, we start wanting something else. As we get more experienced, we master the art of enjoying where we have while also expanding into a new and greater experience.

If we were truly clear about our desires and our ability to manifest them, we would notice instantaneous results. They also probably wouldn’t be such a big deal. When something you really, really want does not materialize immediately (notice I didn’t say manifest) it is because more of your being is noticing that it’s not happening. Every intention manifests immediately. The materialization of the intention (such as coming together with your soulmate) has its own process of unfolding before it reveals itself to you.

The time that we spend between setting the intention and see the results is often mixed. Sometimes these mixed feelings and emotions delay our good. At the very least, they may make the journey more difficult than it needs to be. What we notice the most and our reaction to it is a request for more of the same.

To see a concrete example of what I'm describing, let’s play a little game with Google.

Suppose you are single and you decide that you are willing to start dating.  You declare that you are opening your heart to love.

Suppose your focus is on dating. Behind the scenes, your mind is activating a Google search for dating. (You can try this for yourself in another window.) 

You will see lots of results about dating. Because it’s a broad category, you will see everything from online dating to escort services.

While you’re contemplating the results, your thoughts are circulating.  Memories come up, along with fears. Without even realizing it, your emotions are getting stirred up and the phrase dating is hard work comes up and gets entered in the search box. Almost immediately, pages of results confirming how hard dating can be come up on the screen. You may start having second thoughts and  love is painful comes up for you.  That search too is executed in yet another window.

You start to get sucked in for a bit, clicking on the links and going deeper into believing that it really is hard work. You will see tons of stories confirming that it’s hard work, forgetting that you are only seeing these stories because something in you took the intense emotional reaction as a signal to search for the evidence.

At this point, you will either continue with more emotional reactions that will have you diving deeper into the results you are receiving. This will give you more evidence of what you do not want. You may even share some of these links with your friends and generate discussion about it. Or, there will be an even stronger emotional desire that will rise up within you that wants to have fun dating.

The good news is that this strong emotional reaction associated with your soul call will also execute another search. Positive feelings, because they are in alignment with our true nature, are always stronger than negative ones. We naturally are pulled more in their direction once we lock on to these good feelings. This time you will see many results from the search have fun dating.

Next, your heart may call out to date for my soulmate. Notice the results are of a better quality. Each time, notice you have a choice to stay focused on what you want or to get distracted by another opposing thought.

Important: It’s not the thoughts that cross your mind nor is it the feeling that is the issue. What you choose to focus on and dive into more deeply is what matters. In fact, someone who tries to deny a strong fear or reaction may have much more trouble than someone who notices it and compassionately redirects their thoughts/feelings. Often difficult feelings and unwanted results can help you refine and clarify what you really want. It is truly all good.

The Internet is a wonderful way to demonstrate that anything we could want or want to know already exists. Neither time nor space limit what you can access. Google is neutral. It will return to you whatever you enter in the search box. The Universe operates the same way, yet there is always this undercurrent that is doing its best to move us in a happier direction. When we choose to be tuned into the feelings associated with our words and actions, we can shift our attention and allow our intentions to come into full bloom.

If you would like assistance in moving towards your love dreams, I’m available for coaching. You can contact me at lcaroselli08@optimum.net.

I'm also offering a live workshop Manifest Your Soulmate on October 2nd in Lambertville, NJ. Sign up in advance and save $5 on the workshop ($35 online instead of $40 at the door) plus a coupon to bring with you for 15% off a CD or the book Love Will Find You by Kathryn Alice (Da Capo).

Blessings and love to you as you step forward into the arms of your soulmate!

Lisa

This expression came to mind as a way of describing the impatience that can crop up after you have set an intention for love, your soul call. You know what you want, and yet there is this sense of living in constant anticipation of getting there. Anticipation can be fun. In this situation however the anticipation is filled with lots of questions and nitpicking. You are not enjoying the journey. You just want to get there, and you want to get there NOW.

There are times when the demand to clear out all obstacles will produce immediate results. Those situations are generally areas of our lives where we have been indecisive or wishy washy.

There are also times when that type of demand will not work. It happens when we are seeing the lack of what we want more than we are believing that it is already given. Since we all experience this feeling at some time or another; I've listed a few things that you can do to help you through this period.

1. Go deeper. It’s possible that your focus is only on the destination and you have not fully explored what you will do once you have this person in your life. Start exploring in your mind what your life will be like, the things you will do together, and include everything from the mundane to the magical. Make sure you take time to write these things down. Later you will have proof that you can use to shore up your faith for your next dream.
   
2. Distract yourself. If thinking about your soulmate and your relationship together has you wondering where they are instead of reveling in all of the things you will explore together, you may want to use the distraction technique. Many parents have used this to help their children get through long trips. It involves keeping your mind busy with anything just long enough for it to stop questioning and undermining your faith. One of the best ways to do this is to start with a list of things that you have been putting off. This could even include things that you have put off doing until you find a mate, such as buying a home, shopping for your wedding gown or honeymoon destination, cleaning up that closet or basement, taking a class or going on a trip that you have been putting on the back burner, you name it. Taking this type of action has brought love to the door of many men and women. Think of how many people have met in the supermarket, on a trip, etc.
   
3. Enjoy the journey. People forget that we often spend more time on the journey than we do at the destination. On the road to soulmate love you will meet many people and go places with them. Remembering to enjoy each connection and relationship on the way will not only enrich your experience but it will also help speed up the time it takes to connect with your true love. Even if you have taken a side trip for a bit in a long term relationship that did not work out, it has had a purpose for you in becoming ready for your love. If you do not see it now, there is no need to force it. You will see it in time. Instead, find the part of yourself that wants to feel better. At first it may feel good to get angry (without taking it out on anyone) and you may need that. You may also need to let your feelings out in your journal or through the help of a counselor/coach. The idea is to get better at moving forward and letting go more easily while still staying open to love. Take steps that reinforce having more joy in your life.
   
4. Prepare. At the beginning of every relationship, practical things such as shopping, paying bills, and cooking meals go by the wayside. Use your free time to get your house in order. Pay down your bills and set up online bill notification. Clean up your email. Make your bedroom hospitable for your partner. Go shopping for a gift or card to give to your love later. See friends and family that you have not seen in a bit while you have lots of free space in your calendar.
   
5. What’s next? Often, people forget that any one destination only leads to more. Start contemplating what having love in your life would contribute towards your spiritual path. What new adventures would you have together and as an individual (if freedom is important)? As we stabilize our lives by expressing more love in relationship, often we find this frees up even more energy and we are able to bring more of ourselves into our work, creativity, and our community. Think about how your soulmate relationship would impact others who are looking for love as well. Would it encourage others to have hope again? Know that every pioneer cuts a path that eventually serves others as much as themselves. Start contemplating this now and ask yourself what would happen next. You may be surprised at what comes to mind.

For more encouragement and ideas, consider attending my workshop on Sunday, October 2^nd in Lambertville, NJ.  Click the Events link on this page to register. 

This may sound silly at first but let’s pretend you are a buyer of luxury items. You have the opportunity and means to purchase one and only one luxury item.

If the cost were the same which would you prefer, buying a Lamborghini or chartering a luxury yacht for a week? Both are just different forms of transportation. Each meets a different need for the buyer. Does your choice of one make the other more or less valuable?

The answer: The one you chose is more valuable to you. Your choice does not change the inherent value of the other.

Now pretend you are the owner who is selling the item. Which buyer would you prefer to work with, the one who already sees the value, the one who is unsure and shopping around, or the one who has the money but really wants something else? You know the answer. You would want the one who already wants and values the item, right? There’s no haggling, no trying to manipulate to get more, or to make the sale.

What does this have to do with dating?

Dating is a lot like shopping. For example: Some are browsing and exploring, others are trying to extract or negotiate what they want, and those who know what they are looking for will move forward without hesitation if there’s a fit.

Dating is often made more difficult because:

1.  The experience is personalized.
2. People put false pressure on the timing.
3. If there is not a good fit, there is a tendency to want to manipulate the fit rather than move on.

I used the example of a luxury item because dating for your soul mate is not a hunt in the bargain basement nor is it a numbers game with potential partners being a dime a dozen.

If you know that it’s all about what fits or doesn’t fit, it takes more of the sting out of dating. This makes it easier to de-personalize the whole situation.

People looking for their soul mate are willing to wait it out a bit. They realize that acting desperate or needy is more likely to create a situation where they feel compromised and unsatisfied. Also, someone who wants what you have to offer will travel any distance and do whatever is required just to be with you.

You are more willing to shop around until you find the fit that is right for both people. When you realize your true value and are authentic, you know that the right person will jump at the opportunity to be with you. Letting go of those who are not a good fit or who do not value you properly will be easier. They are just looking for something or someone different. You will see what used to be called rejection as a blessing where each person is freed up to connect with their true match. And, the idea of working hard to convince someone to be with you is something you refuse to even entertain. 

You are less likely to pass judgment on yours or another’s fitness for relationship because things did not match up between you. Over the years, I’ve seen all types of relationship pairings that are soul mate quality between people who were criticized by previous partners for the very thing that made them fit well with their current partner. It’s more about what is right for you than what is right or fair across the board. You also tend to invite more love in when you are willing to let go of judgment.

Maintaining the relationship you attract is easier than any other relationship you have ever had. The idea that relationships are painful or hard work goes right out the window. It is much easier to maintain and grow in a relationship that fits from the start than to try to make something fit through negotiation.

If you are interested in attracting soul mate love, click the link below and submit your name and email address in the form on the page to receive a Free Report, receive notification of new posts to my blog,  and to be placed on my mailing list for my upcoming workshops and other events. I only send when there's something of value to offer you, I will not share your information, and you can remove yourself at any time.

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Hugs,

Lisa

Hello! I trust your summer is going along swimmingly.  However, if you're dating life has been less than optimal, I want to share the following opportunity with you. If you are a fan of Kathryn Alice's work (which I know I am), I'd like to announce a new 4 week class and the first multi-week telecourse she's ever done on dating. Scheduled for September & October, this course is intended for a select group who are ready for soulmate love and ready to date for this purpose.

There will only be 50 slots available and they are going quickly after being announced by Kathryn Thursday night, upon which enrollment opens. Find out more and register NOW using the following link:

Date for Your Soulmate Telecourse

Here are just a few things that you can expect from this course:

• Not only will you learn the secret to creating your soulmate, you will IMPLEMENT this technique in a supportive, gentle learning environment and out in the world with Kathryn guiding & supporting you

• This process cannot be denied and is tailored for those who are serious about welcoming in love, those who have been blocked or delayed, or haven't dated at all in a while

• Discover the 3 most common dating missteps & avoid them

• Undergo a process of learning to date for your soulmate that we have the luxury of making constant with weekly support and daily exercises that will change your whole experience of dating

• Be guided through that tricky time when you meet someone new into a commitment. This technique has worked for thousands who successfully sealed the deal!

• We are going to have a lot of fun, which is a big component of soulmate love!

Do not hesitate. Make This FALL Your Time of LOVE!!

Love and blessings,

Lisa Caroselli

When you’re dating spiritually, breaking up isn’t as hard to do. I say as hard because there is always a grieving period where we need to release the attachment we have to that person. If we do not recognize this, we may either stay attached or we may build a wall against future relationships to avoid experiencing the pain again.

If your partner has ended the relationship, you can BE FREE and magnetize your soulmate more quickly by using the formula below. First and foremost, remember everyone has their own process. You do not need to follow this perfectly. Grace assists us always, providing whatever we need to move forward.  Where you are on your path to freedom does not matter, as long as you are willing to let go. There are no prerequisites or tests to pass to come together with your soulmate. Just being committed to this work is enough.

If you need more help with releasing, here is a practice called BE FREE. I've also included some product suggestions and tools that have helped thousands let go, move forward, and welcome in soulmate love.

To receive a message each time I add a post, fill out the form at the bottom of this page. You'll also receive a Free copy of 7 Steps to Bring on Your Soulmate Now!

As always, you have my support and blessings.
Lisa

BE FREE

Be Willing

Be willing to believe them when they say it’s over. This is where the Voice of Attachment that Kathryn Alice talks about in her book LOVE WILL FIND YOU (Da Capo) can seduce you into all types of crazy behavior in an attempt to keep you attached. Yes, it’s a loss and it hurts. However, a willingness to face the loss reduces the amount of time that you spend in pain. You will get over them AND you have much better to look forward to. Realize they have done you a favor by being honest and ending something that was not a good fit. If you’re resisting this step or are waffling, you may want to ask yourself why you want someone who does not want to be with you? All they are saying is that they are not your one. Not letting go is keeping you from realizing your dream. There is someone for you, no doubt about it. And you will not have to convince them that you are the one for them. They’ll deliver that message to you LOUD and CLEAR in both words and action.

Esteem

Think highly of yourself and honor yourself. Feel your feelings knowing that this will pass. Allow yourself to feel the loss without reconnecting with them. Closure can be attained without contact. Release moment-by-moment. At first they may come to mind continuously. Gradually, as long as you do not reconnect, they will disappear from your thoughts. Remember, your feelings during this breakup are indicative of your capacity to love and feel deeply. Remind yourself that you will get over this. If you thought that this was IT, realize that your soulmate will make this relationship pale in comparison. Seek support that is meaningful to you and uplifting. Sometimes this means going outside your social circles and enlisting the help of a coach or counselor.

If you are interested in arranging a private session with me, you can contact me at lcaroselli08@optimum.net.

Faith

You get love AND they will meet you MORE than halfway. Shore up your confidence that you get your soulmate. If you are having a hard time believing this, start looking for evidence. Those who are willing to believe find this evidence in droves! Look for love stories in the newspapers, online, and in your everyday encounters. Soulmate love exists.

Release, Right Action, and Replace.

Make a clean break. If you have a tendency to spend time wondering what you did wrong, remember that love is not logical. You will see the value in the time spent together in retrospect, believe me. It’s happened for thousands of others. Until you are willing to release the unavailable, recognize that YOU are unavailable. Accept that there are no mistakes. Only Divine Right Action is taking place, always. Be willing to extract the good that you can find from the experience, and leave the rest.

Releasing gets easier with time and practice. Every time the person you are releasing comes to mind, take a moment to bless them and send them on their way. If you feel you have a reason to contact them, ask God (your Source) to take care of delivering any message for you so you won't have to.

There are two CDs I would recommend for this step: Releasing a Person and Manifesting Love. Each contains a guided meditation along with a powerful process for both releasing a person and for sending out a call to magnetize your soulmate.

Ease
This is most important. Whenever and wherever you can, look for ways to ease up and enjoy yourself, especially if it seems like the last thing you want to do. Find something or someone who makes you laugh, feel joyful, and puts you in a state of oneness. Go see a funny movie, meditate, play music, dance, or take up yoga.

 

Erase.

Focus on dissolving your patterns and blocks to love, not theirs. We are always much better off if we mind our own spiritual business. Everyone’s path is different and we really have no business fixing anyone.  When you truly fit with someone, all of your cares about fixing either yourself or anyone else will dissolve. You will see that there’s someone for everyone. YES, EVEN YOU have someone who’s PERFECT for YOU.

If you feel called to do more releasing work, consider buying the Ultimate Release Kit. This kit contains over 12 CDs-worth of material on practically every topic related to releasing that you can think of, including a bonus track on releasing a lack mentality that is extremely powerful. I personally think is more effective than therapy for around the price of two sessions.

I don’t have to be the fastest. All I have to do is to start and stay the course. Finishing takes care of itself.

This affirmation came to me the other day about running my first marathon this Fall. If you like, you can use this re-word (below) of my affirmation in manifesting your love.

I don’t have to be the fastest in manifesting my love. All I have to do is to be open and stay the course. Coming together with my soulmate is guaranteed. All of the work I’ve done so far has accumulated and is now creating my breakthrough.

I’ve learned a lot from endurance sports and dance that has served me well in relating and love.

1.  Get started. Become clear about a desire and sign up for it. Write down your intentions, be willing to put what you want into words, images, feeling. Follow that up with an action that makes a commitment to that goal.
2.  Start where you are. Once you've set the goal, refocus on what you can do to move in that direction. Break a big goal down into smaller chunks. Whether it’s learning a new style of dance, running your first 5K or marathon, or entering the dating world, it helps if you have mini milestones that feel achievable to you. If it seems too big for you to do right now or you’re feeling the lack of your goal, you need to pay special attention to this one. If it’s love. Look for the love that’s already in your life. Develop a loving, intimate relationship with yourself so that the thought of spending time alone is as appealing as spending it with another. Developing a habit of focusing on what you can do while maintaining a big vision is key.
3. Be willing to be a beginner. Start with the basics. You will need to do this over and over again. Realize though that you're always started from a new place or a higher perspective than the last time. I've learned that I pretty much need the same approach for any race. It’s just that I have a bigger mileage base that I’m starting with.
4. Practice what you know and be willing to try something new. This is most important.
5. Celebrate what you’re doing well. Notice the progress, no matter how small. What you focus on tends to create more of the same. Find your own way of giving yourself credit for what you’re doing well. You can journal or log your successes. Many support groups have a star system for achievements. If you have others to share this with, that’s great. It’s not necessary though. And, it’s a good thing to become your own best friend.
6. Acknowledge any setbacks from a bigger perspective. Instead, remind yourself that you’re learning and re-read #5.
7.  Refuse to compare yourself with anyone except yourself. And sometimes, be willing not to compare at all. Every day is a new day. You are where you are because of what you need. We each have things that are either easier or more difficult for us to grasp. Look at your own progress over time. There will be big leaps and little steps with any goal. Expecting to leap into something completely unfamiliar without having to learn anything is not only unrealistic, it sets you up for disappointment. This is why it’s good to journal our progress.
8. Give yourself a rest day. In athletics, rest is as much of the training plan as the workout. Depending on where you are in your development and growth, you will either need more or less. Not resting when you need to rest, can result in injury and/or setbacks. Listen to your inner guidance. This is especially important for high achievers. If you’ve been dating and need a rest from it, listen. Tell yourself that you have plenty of time because you do. Often after a day or two of rest, we can approach what was difficult with a new attitude and result.
9. Stay the course and be open to more. Gentle tenacity is the most important ingredient. I say gentle because there will be times when you will need to practice #8. Patience goes hand in hand with stick-to-it-iveness. If you stay the course, you will get to your destination or something better. For everyone there comes a day when we reap what we’ve sown. Like magic, our work accumulates and reveals a greater experience of love or capacity that we couldn’t see before we started.

If you’d like to open up to more and greater, I offer FREE support in applying Kathryn Alice’s 9 magnets for love through the Love Will Find You Yahoo support group.  You can join by clicking on the icon at the bottom of the page. I also offer 1:1 coaching sessions for a fee. Click Coaching at the top for more.

Blessings and love,

Lisa

Have you ever told someone to go grab something in the refrigerator only to have them come back and say it’s not there? In our household, we just tell them it’s behind the milk.  It’s a very simple way of stating that they gave up too soon. Sometimes there will be a little bit of a stand-off and a challenge to prove that it's there. When the item is revealed, we just laugh it off and repeat it was behind the milk.

When we’re looking to meet up with our soulmate, we often run into a similar scenario. We look around our current landscape and declare they are not there for any number of reasons. Often, it boils down to this assumption: we believe they are nowhere in sight because we have already looked.

According to The National Marriage Project, a nonpartisan, nonsectarian, and interdisciplinary initiative located at the University of Virginia, almost 60 percent of married people were introduced by family, friends, co-workers or other acquaintances.

This doesn’t mean that you should get out there and start surveying friends and family nor does it mean that this is the only way for you to come together with your soulmate. Instead, I hope that you would consider that the empty landscape of possibility has a lot to do with your perception and perspective.

Remember, your intention for love involves another. Instead of trying to figure out what you need to do to attract someone, open up to the possibility that you have not explored every option and that you are not seeing the whole picture.

1. Have faith. Be willing to believe that there is someone who is perfect for you and you for them. (This is an important one. Note that I used the words be willing. That’s all you need, especially for those of us who need proof before we commit.)
2. You are not alone in this. Consider the possibility that he/she is already exists and that they are on their way towards you. (They have to have at least been born by now.) They have just as much of an interest in finding you as you have in finding them.
3. Take a second look at your assumptions. He/she could be behind the milk. Admit that you do not know it all and that they may already be in your experience either directly or indirectly through your own interests, friends, work colleagues, and acquaintances.
4. Assume the Universe is working on your behalf, regardless of any blocks you think you may have. Love is the most powerful force in the Universe. If you think about it for a moment, it’s sort of arrogant to think that you are so special that you can block love. If you want a loving, committed relationship, you are meant to have it just as you are, right now. There are no exceptions. If you feel that you have been waiting a long time for love, spend some time contemplating the power of love and its ability to overcome any obstacle.

Next time, I’ll give you some good news if you have been over focused on what has not happened for you in love. 

Until then, I encourage you to sign up for Kathryn Alice’s FREE Soulmate Dating Teleseminar/Webinar. You can sign up at: http://www.kathrynalice.com/events.htm#100

Hugs, Lisa